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‧ 歡迎到訪在作家沙龍開的同名部落格。 http://blog.udn.com/cynchung880/article

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June 9, 2010
Complaints! (II)
禾稚 在 YLib Blog 發表於 13:20:30


Continuing from last one.

-------------------------------------------------------

The Olympics made everyone crazy

            White subtitles make me crazy

            My husband drums ALL THE TIME it drives me crazy

            sometimes people think it's fine

            to leave their used condoms in our garden.

            It’s not fine.

 

2:         people on the bus try to get up on you

1:         the smell of urine mixed with perfume on the bus.

3:         on the bus no one talks to me

B:        the number 20     

A:        the number 20

All:      the #20 bus is the most useless bus in the universe. *

            The schedule is a farce, a farce

            just start walking, you will get there faster

            in the bitter cold it will drive right past you

            then it stops two blocks from where you got on and stays there till your brain         explodes.

 

       **Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do to   Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street!

            Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do   to Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street

           Granville Street! Granville Street! I HATE Granville Street! What did they do   to Granville Street? Bring back Granville Street!

           Who thought dead tree's were a good idea?!

            Drunk jocks on Granville Street!

            Bring back the greasy haired punks, the pot smokers!

            The homeless Thunderdome kids!

            It's an apocalypse!

 

            I am a 37 yr old woman. I have had two hundred and ninety periods. 

            Two hundred and ninety periods

            I call BULLSHIT!    

            BULLSHIT!!!

 

            I can't stand 30 days of rain

            I got into grad school but I cannot get a loan!

            I will never be able to afford a house in vancouver

            I will never be able to afford a house in vancouver

            Cheap housing means living with rats, fraying wires,

            and a furnace that could blow at any time.

           In all my travels,

            I have never come across a people

            who whine more about money than Canadians

 

            Don’t get me started

            Don’t get me started

            Don’t get me started

            Don’t get me started  (repeat this chorus under the next verse)

           One of my biggest complaints is how noisy restaurants are.

            You can't have a quiet conversation anywhere it seems.

            I blame the young people.

            And the open concept kitchen

(choir hums)

            I just started a kitchen job... there is so much waste!

            My parents lived for months in caves in Sicily during the war

            Really, you couldn't finish that one leaf of lettuce?

 

            we have nanotechnology but veggie bacon tastes terrible. (sop: Why?)

            In a city with so much rain, people can’t learn umbrella etiquette? (sop: Why?)      

       Stephen Harper- his clothes just don’t fit   (sop: Why?)

All:      Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm at all

            Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm at all

            Traffic calming doesn’t make me calm     at all

 

            my feet are cold

            it is too bright.

            my eyes feel too large.

High:   those huge baby strollers.

low:     cell phones should be waterproof

high:    normal humans against photoshop!!!!!

Low:    drivers who do not stop

High:   I love Monday Night Martinis

Low:    but I hate Tuesday mornings

High:   Cyclists go the wrong way on the seawall

Low:    I can barely see the mountains

Gals:    Women wearing Lululemon

Guys:   Not enough women wearing Lululemon

Gals:    Women wearing Lululemon

Guys:   Not enough women wearing Lululemon

All:      all bathrooms should have coatracks. No one wants to put their jackets on the       

       floor!

            happy planet my ass, mr. Robertson!!!

 

 

I really have nothing to complain about really.

You ever seen the video of the guy with no arms or legs

from Australia

who can surf.

He is so damn positive

and if he can be then I will always try as well.

Although I’m sure there is something he complains about

           proper nouns should not be allowed in scrabble.

 

All:      don’t get me started

            don’t get me started

            don’t get me started

            don’t get me started

            don’t get me started (sop: don’t get me started)

            don’t get me started  (sop: don’t get me started)

            I mean honestly

            I mean honestly

            Etcetera.

            Etcetera!


------------------------------------
* bus #20 is the one on Commercial Drive, where you can not tell who is artist and who is homeless.
** Granville St. used to be quiet, with local look, now it looks like a visitor area with lots of Tycoons.


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